Body shaming is the act of saying something negative about a person’s body.
Body shaming: This can be about your own body or someone else’s.
The comment can be about a person’s size, age, hair, clothing, food, hair, or perceived level of attractiveness.
Body shame can lead to mental health issues such as eating disorders, depression, anxiety, low self -esteem, and body dysmorphia, as well as a general feeling of hating one’s body.
What is body shaming?
The history of body shaming
In our current society, many people think that thin bodies are inherently better and healthier than larger bodies.
Historically, however, that hasn’t always been the case. If you think back to paintings and portraits from before the 1800s, you can see that fatness was revered.
Being fat was a sign that a person was wealthy and had access to food , while thinness represented poverty. In her book “Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture , ” author Amy Erdman Farrell traces the shift from revering heavy bodies to a preference for smaller shapes in mid-19th-century England, when the first diet books were published.
She noted that the focus on diets and bodies in general was centered on women.
What is body shaming?
Fatphobia
Author Sabrina Strings says fatphobia was a result of colonialism and race in her book “Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia . ”
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary , the first known use of the term “body shaming” was by journalist Philip Ellis.
Types of body shame
Body shaming is often about body size , but negative comments about any facet of a person’s body count as body shaming.
Below are the various reasons why people may feel ashamed of their body.
Weight “too big” or “too thin.”
One of the most common reasons people are ashamed of their bodies is their weight.
Someone might feel ashamed of being “too big” or “too thin.”
Saying something negative about a person being “fat” is body shaming.
This is also known as “fat shaming.” Comments that fat-shaming people are those like , “It would be nice if I lost weight ” or “ I bet they had to buy an extra plane ticket to fit in .”
Men are often ashamed of their bodies when people refer to them as having a “ dad bod .”
People with thinner bodies may also feel ashamed of their weight.
Often called skinny-shaming, it can sound like “ They never seem to eat ” or “ They seem to have an eating disorder .”
What is body shaming?
Body hair, shame about hair
Hair grows on the arms , legs, intimate areas and armpits of all people, except those with certain health conditions.
However, many people have the idea that women must remove all body hair, or they will not be “a lady.”
Examples of body hair shaming include calling a woman with armpit hair “beastly” or telling a woman she needs to shave.
Attractive “pretty-shaming”
Known as “pretty-shaming,” bullying or discrimination against people for being attractive is a regular occurrence.
Even more than that, people are bullied for being considered unattractive , which is also known as “lookism.” Lookism describes prejudice or discrimination against people who are considered physically unattractive or whose physical appearance is thought to not live up to societal ideas of beauty.
An example of pretty shaming is how attractive women are less likely to be hired for jobs where they would have positions of authority. And an example of lookism would be how unattractive people may receive fewer opportunities.
Food, Food Shame
Food shaming is usually done in relation to body size. For example , when someone makes a comment about what you are or aren’t eating, that can count as food shaming. Someone saying, “You look like you don’t need to eat that,” is an example of food shaming.
You can also shame yourself about food. For example, you might say, “I’m so fat that I shouldn’t eat this piece of cheesecake.”
What is body shaming?
Clothes, shame of clothes
The 1980s saw the rise of spandex clothing, and there was a popular saying: “Spandex is a privilege, not a right .” This meant that people should only wear spandex clothing if they had the “right” body shape for them. This is a good example of clothing shaming.
Most recently, the founder of clothing brand Lululemon came under fire for making body-shaming comments when he said some women’s bodies “don’t work” for clothing.
Years, age discrimination
Also known as ageism , age shaming is discrimination or harassment towards people because of their age. This is usually focused on the elderly or older population.
In relation to body shaming, a discriminatory comment might sound like, “They’re too old to be wearing that much makeup .” Also, news articles showing photos of what “bad” or “old” celebrities look like when they don’t wear makeup are body shaming. Making negative comments about someone’s wrinkles or loose skin is another form of body shaming.
What is body shaming?
Hair, the shame of baldness
Western society has long focused on smooth, shiny , straight hair as the ideal. Therefore, hair with curls, kinks, or other textures has been seen as less attractive. This is known as texture shaming.
An example of texture shaming is , “You guys are so brave to wear your hair natural .” While that sounds like a compliment, it’s actually an insult. That’s because it implies that a person’s hair is outside of what’s considered normal and that they’re brave for wearing their hair in its natural state.
Furthermore, baldness shame happens to people of all genders who have receding hairlines or thinning or bald scalps.
The impact of body shame on well-being
Body shaming has countless negative consequences on mental health. Here are some important ones:
- Teenagers who are ashamed of their bodies have a significantly increased risk of depression.
- It can lead to eating disorders.
- Body shaming worsens outcomes for obese women trying to overcome binge eating.
- Body shame can cause dissatisfaction with one’s body, which in turn can lead to low self-esteem.
Other mental health concerns associated with body shaming include:
- Anxiety
- Body dysmorphic disorder
- Depression
- Increased risk of self-harm or suicide
- Poor quality of life (due to body dissatisfaction)
- Psychological disorder
How to be more inclusive
Body shaming may be rampant, but that doesn’t mean you have to participate in it.
Making a point of not body shaming is the kindest choice for all people, including yourself. Being intentional about not engaging in various types of shaming can lead to better mental well-being.
In addition to not being ashamed of your body, it can be helpful to be more body-inclusive. This means encouraging acceptance and celebration of shape and diversity in appearance, focusing on health rather than size or weight, and appreciating the human body for all it is and does.
Below are some ways you can stop contributing to body shaming culture.
Stop talking about other people’s bodies.
It may be socially acceptable for people to tease and body shame others, but you do not have to accept, participate in, or tolerate such words or actions.
You wouldn’t want that done to you, and now you know it can cause real problems for those it happens to.
So when you feel tempted to point out a person’s body hair or the texture of their hair, their size, stop yourself. Instead, why not think of something nice to say to the person.
Clearly, they caught your attention, so you could use this as an opportunity to find a positive attribute. “I like your smile” is one idea for a way to compliment another person without talking negatively about their body.
Try the following steps:
- Observe your thoughts and recognize your own conditioning, prejudices and/or judgments.
- Make an intentional effort to notice what you like, appreciate, or admire about this person (these can be physical or non-physical traits).
- Practice this with others and yourself to develop and deepen respect, care, and compassion for yourself and others.
- Learn about body neutrality
Body neutrality is a practice that has many proven benefits for mental health.
It is the notion of accepting bodies as they are, without judging them. This can be applied to your own body and the bodies of others.
Body neutrality encourages a focus on the positive functions that bodies can perform. Learning about this can make you feel better about your own body, improve your relationship with food , and boost your self-esteem.
Change the way you talk about your own body
In a culture where so much emphasis is placed on what is wrong with us and what needs improvement, it can feel like a huge challenge to speak positively about our own bodies. However, doing so is a healthy thing to do and also prevents other people from being harmed.
By practicing speaking positively about ourselves and our bodies, and noticing the qualities in ourselves and others that we like and appreciate, we can deepen our care, compassion, and connection with others and ourselves.
When you make a comment like, “I feel so fat today,” you are passing judgment on fat people and implying that their bodies are less valuable than the bodies of thin people.
This can be painful for anyone around you, especially those who are older.
It’s unrealistic to only have positive thoughts about yourself, but you can express your feelings in ways that are less hurtful to others. For the example above, you could confide in a friend and say, “My pants don’t fit the way they usually do and it makes me feel self-conscious.”
Instead of feeling ashamed of your body, you will have opened up to a loved one, creating more closeness and trust between the two of you.
Speak up
If you’ve taken the steps to stop being ashamed of your body and shaming other people, that’s wonderful! However, there’s still more work to do.
As with all instances in life where you see other people causing harm, it is important to speak up, as long as it is emotionally and physically safe for you to do so.
If you see someone making a comment to another person about their body, whether it’s about their clothes, age, or size, you can kindly let them know that it’s not nice to talk about other people’s bodies.
And if it happens regularly with friends or loved ones, you can bring it up in a broader way, letting them know that their ways of communicating about bodies don’t always feel right to you and others.
Body shaming can be common, but you can do the work to stop perpetuating it and help heal its harmful effects by practicing body positivity with yourself and others.
