Nearly 70% of parents say they are distracted by their cell phone when spending time with their children.

Parental phubbing, when a parent ignores their child while using their mobile phone , is a problem for kids and moms and dads .

Experts say cell phone use isn’t the problem; rather, it’s how parents use them .

Are parents giving their full attention when their children need it?

Or are they scaring them away more than usual?

It happens to everyone sometimes . The key is how much.

Cell phone use is a social norm

A whopping 97% of Americans own cell phones of some kind. With their widespread use , it can create a challenge for parents to part with.

Phubbing by parents, ignored children with depression

Are parents giving their full attention when their children need it?

Or are they scaring you away more than usual ? It happens to everyone at times. The key is how much.

“Parents rely on the convenience of smartphones (i.e. alarms, reading books, scheduling, news, social connections , etc.), thus creating a sense of dependency . In fact, we often hear parents comment that they ‘can’t go anywhere ’ without their phone.”

Cell phones are convenient and useful in today’s fast-paced society. But when parental phubbing causes parents to ignore or overlook their children’s needs, it’s important to recognize the problem and look for practical solutions to give children the attention they need.

Children and parental phubbing

Children require the love and care of their parents.

Studies show that children raised in supportive environments are more likely to thrive. That support includes parental attention.

Realistically , parents can’t listen to their children 24 hours a day. That makes it even more important that when they do have time together, parents are involved and focused on their child. When children believe their parents are ignoring them, the pain they feel is very real.

Phubbing can make a child feel inadequate , alone, rejected, and dismissed . Children become anxious or depressed when they are ignored.

The pain of being ignored is experienced both somatically (physically) and psychologically.

The brain does not distinguish pain , it simply tells the body and mind: ‘I am hurt’ .

“Phubbing can make a child feel inadequate, alone, rejected and discarded. Researchers have found that children become anxious or depressed when they are ignored. He or she may think they are insignificant.”

Children often act out to get the attention they crave.

“When children start thinking this way, they often isolate themselves. They will also overcompensate negatively or positively to get any kind of attention.”

Research shows that when parents prefer their phones to listening to their children, it can even accelerate feelings of depression.

Children who feel emotionally neglected may experience anxiety problems , poor grades in school, substance abuse, and even suicidal tendencies.

In addition to the risk of children seeking attention in other ways , they may also begin to emulate their parents’ behavior. Parents need to be aware of their phone use and the message they are sending.

“Parents are their children’s first teachers… It is important for parents to monitor their children’s mental health . ” “Often, parents use their phone as a distraction to cope with life’s stressors. ”

Practical solutions to Phubbing

People check their cell phones about 60 times a day, on average. So, continued , persistent cell phone use is here to stay. But experts say there are safeguards parents can put in place to make sure they’re giving kids the quality time they need.

Although this one is pretty obvious, it is important . Put your phone down when you are spending quality time with your kids.

“You have to put that phone down, especially with teenagers. When they are ready to talk to you… you have to give them your full attention. This means you may need to put the phone in a different room.”

Parents can also put their phones on Do Not Disturb or silence their ringers.

Since studies show that hearing a phone notification is a huge distraction, eliminating that sound can help parents focus on what’s in front of them: their children .

Another option is to set up phone-free zones.

Having a basket where everyone puts their phones before sitting down to dinner ensures far fewer interruptions . Phones are put away for family night and other agreed-upon time slots.

Phone-free spaces in the home are also an option. When family members want to spend quality time together, they know that this special room is a safe space without the interruption of phones.

Parents may also consider setting a timer for phone use.

Let the kids know that in an hour, they will receive uninterrupted time with you. It can be an incentive for them as well as for mom and dad.

The reality is that it is critical to implement ways to successfully live with phones without diminishing the importance of family members.

“We cannot escape the digital age; however, we can manage how we engage with the digital age. I encourage parents to put down their phones when communicating with their children. Eye contact is important and lets the child know they are valued.”

What this means to you

Mobile phones are an important part of our lives. We manage our schedules , check the time, and stay connected with our devices. But phone use is no substitute for quality face-to-face time , especially with our children. It’s critical for parents to regulate their phone use so their children get the love and attention they deserve .